A "Dear John" Letter

Dear Sugar,

We've been together a long time, but I find that I need to stop seeing you for a while.

It's not you; it's me.

You are very refined, but I need to be more down to earth.  I want to be with someone more rooted and natural.

Actually, it is you.

I know this is hard to hear, but I just feel bad after being with you.  Sure, you can be sweet and all, but I'm left drained, like I have no energy to go on.  I get sad and moody, too.  I know, I know, you're there to make me happy, again, but it's not real happiness.  Besides, look at this extra 80 pounds I gained from trying to be happy with you!  Frankly, you're just not good for my heart.

It's going to be awkward at first when we run into each other, which is inevitable because you are EVERYWHERE that I have to be.  You are the life of the party and everybody loves you.  But, I have to ignore you.  I hope you understand.

Yes, I've met someone else, actually, many others.  They bring me sustained joy and lift me up, not leave me down like you do.(I don't know why I didn't give them the time-of-day before.  Once I got to know them, I've discovered how wonderful they are... and beautiful.  It's taken me a while to appreciate their beauty).  If you want to meet them, that's fine, but remember, my attention is to them.  It's not all about you anymore.

So, please, don't call me nor tempt me.  And, don't send your sister, White Flour, over, either.  You're both kind of empty, and I just don't need that anymore.

Sincerely,

Gina

Pursenal

Do old to-do lists and receipts stuffed into my purse count as a personal journal?

Scraps of Memories

On another note, I have had Spring-fever.  I've been busy with outdoor repairs, maintenance and planting in my little garden getting the crops in... doing anything that let's me be outside.  The inside is suffering, but I don't care as intensely because it's Spring!


(Keeping up with blogging has been suffering, too.  I'm sorry for neglecting you, my blogging friends.)


Keeping up with anything, actually, has been challenging.  There are too many to-do lists with adult-type responsible things and not enough playing-in-the-dirt-type things.


Do you have Spring-fever?

Done with March

March was...a blur.  Each kid (3) missed a week of school at some point while home sick.  Husband's heel was broken (still is).  I felt like I was back working in the animal hospital with my charts for all my patients.   Last week was the first week that all kids were in school.

One of the scariest moments was when my 12 y.o. son had pneumonia.  Doctors almost admitted him into the hospital when he threw up his meds.  But, fortunately he was able to keep things down, again, and stay home.   At one point he was on 7 different medications including the nebulizer.  It was hard to see my little guy struggling.

Miracle:  I didn't get sick.  Somehow I avoided their viruses/infection.  Here I am being coughed on while trying to remove encrusted goop from their eyes (yeah, two of them developed bacterial pink eye), sleep deprived, and trying to keep the rest of the house going (including birthday celebrations and making a costume for daughter's dance recital), yet I didn't get sick.  I attribute part of that good fortune to the 4-5 weeks in February when I was regularly exercising and eating better.  It's like I was in training for what was coming in March.

I wasn't able to keep up the exercise routine nor logging calories during March, though.  Now that everyone is on the mend, I can feel myself starting to spiral down if I don't take care of me soon.

Remember this photo?
Not happening.
Except at 4:30 a.m.

Kids are on Spring break.  We've been busy trying to make this house look healthy, again.  (11 y.o. daughter isn't so happy that her Spring break isn't much of a break - LOL).  The to-do list never ends.  But, it's Spring, and I'm happy April is here.

Hormonology: Knowing Your Cycle to Help You Get/Stay Fit

Hi!  My friend, Anna, (mother of 4, including twins, who's hubby is also a pilot -- that's how we met) sent a link to me about hormones and how they can hinder and assist our weight-loss efforts.  I knew hormones messed with me, but I didn't know the how's, why's, when's, and what-to-do's.  I've put together a summary and a quick-peek chart that I will print for myself and keep near my calendar.


Adapted from Gabrielle Lichterman's "Hormonology:  Slim Down with Your Cycle."

Week 1 (Start of period - Day 7)  LESS HUNGRY
Why?  Estrogen rising = appetite suppressing effect
Watch out for:  Continuation of indulging from last week (week 4) out of habit and using junk food as comfort food for this week's aches and pains.
Hormonal Slim-down Tip:  Acknowledge you are less hungry and don't eat on autopilot.

Week 2 (Day 8-13)  ALL OR NOTHING
Why?  Two directions:
1.  Eat nothing:  Estrogen still rising >> suppresses appetite >> tempted to skip meals >> lowers metabolism >> weight gain
2.  Eat a lot :  Testosterone rising >> more impulsive behavior >> sampling new foods
Hormonal Slim-down Tip:  Eat regularly and balanced.  No skipping.  Sample the new treat without overdoing  (and I'm adding:  if the treat isn't as fabulous as you thought it would be, DON'T FINISH IT, put it down and sample something else).

Week 3 (Day 14 *Ovulation* - 22)  CRAVINGS
Why?  Progesterone rising >> preparing your body for possible pregnancy during ovulation which orders your body to crave energy-dense foods to put on pounds.  And if that wasn't bad enough, our digestive tract also slows down >> triggers constipation >> leads to water retention.  Happy happy joy joy.
Hormonal Slim-down Tips:
A.  For the Cravings
1.  First few days:  Have family member put you in a straight jacket and lock you in a padded room don't give in to the junk-food cravings, there will be fewer cravings for the rest of the cycle.
2.  Squash cravings by taking a 10 minute walk.
3.  Distract self from cravings by doing something fun (padded rooms are fun).
B.  For Constipation:  increase water intake and fiber-rich foods
C.  For Water Retention:  decrease salt intake, sweat more, (and I'll add to drink more water.  I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it helps, and it also dilutes the sodium in the body).

Good News Break:  The body is more efficient at burning calories during weeks 3 and 4, and you will most likely be less tired from working out than other days.
Why?  The progesterone and estrogen combination

Week 4 (Day 23 - 28 or cycle's end)  START MEDICINAL EATING
Expect:  *achy, *sadness, *irritability (PMS)
Why?  Estrogen descending >> reduction in serotonin >> increase craving carb-rich and sugary foods >> increase in serotonin and endorphins.
Hormonal Slim-down Tip:  Choose healthier carb-rich foods.

*I'll add:  Other things lead to these symptoms besides PMS:  dehydration, poor nutrition, lack of physical activity, fatigue, seasonal changes (lack of sunshine).

A summary of the summary:


Week 1 (Start of Period - Day 7) LESS HUNGRY
Estrogen rising > suppresses appetite
Tip:  Mindful eating, regular (don't skip) but not on autopilot


Week 2 (Day 8-13) ALL OR NOTHING
Estrogen still rising (less hungry), Testosterone rising (more impulsive)
Tip:  Don't skip meals, eat balanced, sample treat w/o overdoing


Week 3 (Day 14 Ovulation - 22) CRAVINGS (less tired, more calories burned)
Progesterone rising (prep for pregnancy), digestive tract slowing (constipation, water retention)
Tip:  Don't cave to the junk-food crave for 3 days, take frequent short walks, distract self, drink more water, eat less salt, increase fiber, sweat more.


Week 4 (Day 23 - 28ish)   MEDICINAL EATING (less tired, more calories burned) PMS
Estrogen descending > serotonin descending > cravings increasing for carbs and sugar
Tip:  Choose healthier carb-rich foods (whole wheat stuff, whole grains, fruit, popcorn, honey).

Self Portrait 17

Before

After

What's the difference?

The first photo:  the mess really bothered me.  What you don't see are the pile of dishes behind and pile of stuff on the desk to my right.  You also don't see the debris of crumbs, dog fur, candy wrappers, and scraps of my son's duct tape on the floor that should have been swept up by my kids yesterday.

The second photo:  pretty much the same mess but this time it doesn't bother me because in between I had exercised.  I felt relaxed instead of anxious.  I could focus on what needs to be done next instead of angry that it needs to be done at all.

My perspective changed, the mess didn't.

So, yeah, I know I'm not technically in the photo for today's "self" portrait, but self includes perspective as well as flesh and bone.  I have learned that I must to do some sort of exercise to help me with anxiety and depression issues.  The mess and never-ending to-do list have to wait.

Self Portraits 15 & 16

Gray Day
Even the sky was overcast.  It was actually a very productive
morning, but when the kids and hubby came home, I felt frozen, stuck.
The urge to eat was strong.  I wasn't hungry, though -- just stuck, brain dead.
So, I went for a walk.
I may have been gone for only 10 minutes, but I felt a world better.

Mine!
I often feel I belong to everybody but me.
No one is taking advantage, per se, I've just defined
that it was okay.  It's not anymore.  Mornings until 10:30
are mine.  Mine to exercise, prep for meals or menus, chores,
blog, shower, get ready for the day -- things that make me healthier.

Self Portraits 12-14

I've been avoiding forgetting to take daily pictures.  It's good to see where I'm at, but not always fun.  These three pictures are from my past week.  

Sleepless early morning, catching up on scripture study.
I chose to read by candlelight because I both like it and
 because we have no walls dividing our kitchen, dining,
and family room.  When I turn on a light, it floods
the hallways into the bedrooms.  Candles are softer.

I have a love-frustration relationship with the scriptures.  I was called to be a Sunday school teacher for 14-15 year olds.  It's good in the sense that I dedicate more time to reading and pondering the scriptures, but it's frustrating when I come across something that challenges my testimony, logic, and ethics.  

Every year, we teach a different book and rotate every 4 years:  Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants.  When I began teaching, I started with the O.T. over 2 years ago -- Ugh!  I'd be okay with some things then come across stuff that reminded me why I had been an atheist.  I've resolved to not take things literally.

Little guy Skye woke up later and joined me.
I loved having him with me while he worked on
his masterpiece.

Sending my first born on the "Klondike" - a camping
trip in the snowy mountains with his scout troop.  

 I look at the above photo and remember how we almost lost him at birth.  He was born at 36 weeks by emergency c-section with an apgar of 2 and GERDS.  He stayed in NICU for about 10-12 days and came home with machines we had to hook up to him -- oh, the awful tape that pulled at his skin.  He's 12 now.  Strong and healthy.  I can't believe I allowed him to go sleep in a freezing tent on the snow.  He.loved.it.  And I love him.

Presidents' Day -- It's our turn to post the flags in
part of the neighborhood.  It's wonderful to see the
streets lined with the flags.  (Hard to see in this photo).

Our church wants to make sure all the young people in the neighborhood (non-members and members, boys and girls, financially capable or incapable) are included in activities and camp-outs and pays for all of the fees (including Boy Scouts).  In return, the young men and women "work" for it by raising money and doing a flag service.  Neighbors donate money to the fund, and the kids put a flag up in their yard every patriotic holiday for a year.  I love being a part of this.

Self-Portraits 9-11

Feb. 12a
For better or for worse, this is me making an effort.
I can't believe it's Sunday, again.

Feb. 12b
Trying a more flattering angle -- up higher.  I'm also
sticking out my chin to smooth out the double.
Don't I look hopeful?

Feb. 13
My favorite place to be.  When I was a kid having a
bad day at school, I'd mentally go to my "happy place"
which was my bed.  I'd say to myself, "This will all be
over, and tonight I'll be in bed with my pillow and
blanket and cool sheets."

Feb. 14
My almost all-time high.  (227 was my highest during
the past several weeks).  I'm 5' 8" - medium frame.
I'd like to be somewhere between 140 and 150.

Self-Portraits 6-8

This first picture came to mind when Jill (The Sassy Pear) spoke about thinking she looked better than what her picture showed and when Kyra (Adventures in Fitness) gave a funny description on her latest post about her running.  I used to run jog slog before the plantar fasciitis and hip bursitis.  I thought I was doing wonderfully.  I felt so athletic.   Then I saw my shadow one morning.  It was like seeing the shadow of a parade float.  So, I totally related to the following photo:

Feb. 9
Danny and me at IKEA.  We had a good time in spite of
his head cold and my headache.  I love his smile.

Feb. 10
He's helping me with this self-portrait-a-day project.
I hadn't snapped any pictures and didn't know what to take.
We were returning from Walmart after buying fabric for my
daughter's dress.  I'm going to teach her how to sew with a pattern
and using the same sewing machine my mother and I learned on
(1961 Brother, lavender!).

Feb. 11
Now.  Saturday morning.  My son has the computer I am
allergic to.  Danny gave me the little red one as a gift --
much better.  But, I really don't like spending a lot of time
on the computer anymore.
(My headboard used to be our fence in Chicagoland).

BTW, thank you for the support on my last post as I waded through the initial shock of what I was seeing.

Self Portrait 1-5

After the hip-bursitis diagnosis, I was really discouraged, depressed, and went into a tail-spin (and a tail inflation, too, I suppose, gaining 15 more pounds -- I'm at my all-time highest weight).  I ignored the blog and spent little time on the computer anymore.  A couple of blogs were still fed to my email.  One was Jill's "The Sassy Pear."  She was recently inspired by Kyra's "(the never ending) Adventures in Fitness (& Life)" and her project to take self-portraits every day for a month.  At first I didn't want to, but then I though maybe I could learn something from it.  I've been in a fog for months now, pretty much ignoring my circumstances and surviving on denial.

Feb. 4
My daughter and I after her Irish dancing competition.
We have a fun time together while I help her practice and
get her ready at 0'dark-thirty.  She seems to really like me
and my company.  I hope that lasts forever.

Feb. 5
Walking to church.  We have three hours:  sacrament
meeting, Sunday school, and Elders' Quorum/Relief
Society meetings.  I was "called" as a Sunday school
teacher to the 14-15 year-olds.  That has been both a
source of great anxiety and a growing experience.  It
definitely is outside my comfort zone.  I wasn't raised in
this church, so I feel highly unqualified.  But, that's the whole
point of a calling, to stretch and develop us.
When I see this picture, I remember so many times wanting to
turn around and go home and not be around others.
I often force a smile.  "Great!  And you?"
I have to say though, by the end of the 3 hours, I am up-lifted and
glad I went.  I keep telling myself that over and over as I make this
trip the following week.

Feb. 6
There it is -- the reason I avoid the camera and mirrors.
Behind me is my sweet family at dinnertime.
I am in my office, the kitchen.
I should label this, "Tired, Fat Mom Who Has Completely Let Herself Go."

Feb. 7
Day 4 was closing, and I still hadn't thought of what type
of self-portrait I should take.  I wanted to take off my shoes
and began to pull on my pant leg to lift my leg onto my other knee;
I couldn't lift my foot otherwise -- too fat, pants too tight.
"THAT"S what I should take a picture of," I thought to myself.
"It's absolutely ridiculous that I've let myself get this way.  I should
take a good, hard look of what I've become instead of numbly ignoring it."

Feb. 8
I had just taken a shower and was grabbing a bite before
heading to the grocery store.  My hubby sweetly said,
"You look pretty."
I asked him to take a picture so I could see what he sees.
I don't see it.
I see a fat, depressed, tired girl who has nearly given up and
is about to put a potato chip in her mouth.  Wow. 

Hip Bursitis

I was diagnosed with bursitis a couple of weeks ago when I was experiencing pain in both hips.  Now my moderately-active lifestyle has been reduced to almost sedentary.  No stairs. No walks.

I miss my long walks.  They help clear my head, perk up my mood, and keep depression at bay.  My mom has a new in-chair-aerobics exercise dvd for us to try.  That should help.

The good news:  the medication, an anti-inflammatory called diclofenac, seems to be kicking in.  I was more active yesterday. The goal is to do more strength training for hips and core.  And, of course, get the joint-damaging poundage off.

I've been tracking my calories and had reduced them during my sedentary days.  I had lost 7 pounds but am since up 2.  More adjustments.

Here's a quote from Angela's blog, Isla de Angela:  What if you woke up today with only the things you were thankful for yesterday?

I hope you have a great day!

June Gone So Soon

Source
This is NOT my summer so far.

June has kicked me in the butt.  I have absolutely nothing to complain about -- it's been great, actually -- but just so busy.  It's like every moment is spoken for.  No lazy days of summer here.

But now, I have an empty house (even the dog has gone to Grandma's), so I thought I'd check in.

I've maintained my weight, which pretty much means I'm still fat.  I've really been lacking the meal-planning department and have not been cooking much.  The amount of restaurant and fast food we've consumed astounds even me (not to mention the cost).  Ugh.  I feel hypocritical because my beliefs have been "I shouldn't be too busy to eat right."  Then, when demands on my time increase, I'm in the frame of mind, "Okay, I'm needed here.  Let me get this done then it's back on the straight and narrow."  Or "There's only so much I can do in a day, you want me to cook, too?"

{grrr, empty house not empty anymore  -- sigh}

I have been walking, though, which is a God-send.  It has really perked up my energy and mood, AND I've been staying off the caffeine, which helps me sleep better at night.  High activity -  good; not caring what I eat - bad.

So, what happened with the Eating for Your Soul program?  I still believe in most of it, but I have not been applying myself or given much thought to intuitive eating.  It's a program that teaches about having a good relationship with food and your body, but it's not a weight-loss program.  When I told the leader, Jarah, at the last meeting I've really enjoyed the program and felt I learned and applied a lot BUT that I have to lose the weight -- it's not an option, my body and especially my feet hurt -- and how do I go about it, she pretty much said that when I work the program, I'll eventually start eating less and less.  She added I won't lose the weight until I stop thinking about losing the weight.

That was so discouraging.  Maybe she's right, but she hasn't lived it.  How does she know? Food (overeating/binges/obesity) has not been an issue for her.  That's irrelevant, I suppose, because I'm the one that has to take the time to focus on what I'm putting in my mouth and why.  Like any program, I have to do my part.  In all honesty, I haven't (except for the exercise).

Jarah recommended one-on-one work, and I agreed, but I haven't heard from her since.  I also wanted to purchase two more workbooks (one for my mom and I to work on together and one for a friend).  I was supposed to get those over a month ago, but I haven't even received a phone call nor an email.

...not sure why...  maybe her summer has been as busy as mine... 

I hope you have a great Independence Day

Exercise with Immediate Results!

"Don't you just love it when exercise feels like it has a purpose?!"

That was a comment from Jill under my "5K Pioneer Style"  post. And it is so true.  For a person that likes to see immediate results for effort, it's hard to walk on a treadmill that goes nowhere or lift a bunch of weights and then look in the mirror to see nothing has changed.

Well, here's some exercise with purpose.  (I should have taken a before picture).  Recently, I've been putting in a garden.  My yard is on a slope, and I wanted a place to grow vegetables, so I put in a couple of retaining walls and soil.

When I said "I put in," I literally meant I put it in and didn't hire someone.

-Dug in and removed sod and hauled it

-Loosened dirt underneath, removed rocks and chunks of cement

-Picked up retaining wall bricks brick-by-brick from d.i.y. center and put them on hand cart.

-Put the bricks brick-by-brick into vehicle, then out of vehicle, then eventually into position, carrying many uphill.

-Did this also with soil.

This is the top level.

The almost-finish product.
I started off with two short walls that just
ended bluntly .  I added the top level and
extended the bottom levels, curving them around.

There, I planted white onions, garlic, collard greens, Swiss chard, lettuce, lots of spinach, summer squash, jalapeño peppers, carrots, parsnips, sugar snap peas, cucumbers, basil, cilantro, radishes, and tomatoes.  The Brussels sprouts will go in later, and I need to find a spot for the spaghetti squash.  I may plant them in front of my house with some pumpkins.

Hopefully something grows.

 

After I finished the garden, neighbors came over and offered their unused garden plots for our use.  They are elderly and don't keep them up.  My kids were thrilled!  We've been weeding and hand-tilling (okay, they weren't thrilled about that part).  My 11 y.o. son planted his corn "field."  My 5 y.o. son planted his watermelon patch.  And my 10 y.o. daughter is surrounding the garden with giant sunflowers.  I'm putting in cantaloupe.

We're dirty.  We're tired.  I'm sore.  But it's great to accomplish something.

I may see that I don't look much different in the mirror, but the yard sure is different, and that is so satisfying.  I tried to use good form while lifting each brick or shovel.  It seemed like every muscle was being used.

And I was tired each day.  A good tired.

I'm not trading my weights or kettlebell for a landscaping business, but it was nice to exercise the original way for a while.  

I have a friend who's exercise routine is vigorously cleaning her house.  She really puts herself into it and works up a sweat.

Do you have a non-gym activity that gives you a good work-out?
Blogging has not been on the forefront.  I hope to catch up with y'all in between summer activities (including weeding).

Blurry and Out of Focus

It's 4 in the morning and my head is spinning with my to-do lists.  Items continue to be added to it, and the line between what is important and what is urgent is blurred.  Everything is good, but it's so easy to slip back into old, familiar eating and nonexercise patterns when there is a lot demanded from me.


I noticed lately that I'm not taking the time to truly taste my food nor eat slowly.  I'm busting over my stop signals and eating things that I don't even like much.

Source

I am by habit a "chaotic eater"* as defined by Jarah Christensen's  Eating For Your Soul.  When I multi-task and am being pulled in many directions, I don't take the time to feed myself.  Then I become famished and make poor food choices and overeat or binge on those poor choices.  Starve - binge - starve - binge.  When I'm in this chaotic mode, I hate dealing with food (especially when I'm the only one that cooks).  I don't hate cooking, but there's only so much of me and my time, and I don't want to deal with it.


So, yes, I'm slipping back into that way of  eating.  "Chaos is not conducive to listening to my body."  No kidding.


I've also traditionally been an "emotional eater."  I don't think I've slipped back into this.  If I have, then not by much.  But, I don't emotionally binge the way I used to:  buying packages/trays/bakery boxes of pastry-type stuff and digging in, sometimes crying, sometimes numbly staring off into space.


*{Other types of eaters are:  Control Eaters, Professional Dieter, Waste-Not Eater, Offend-Not Eater, Emotional Eater, and Closet Eater}.

Source

So, what am I going to do about this?  I can't be cloned.  The list isn't going away.


I am important; my well-being is good for everybody and the list.


Be still, then move
First, renew my focus.  I will take quiet time for myself -- no kids, no computer, no list  -- and meditate/ponder/pray about what I want to do for my body that day.  I'll write it down, say it out loud, come up with a mantra - something - to reinforce listening to my body.


Second, move.  I will take at least a 5 minute walk or turn on music and dance.  This is separate from regular exercise.  This is just to pump up some energy and my mood.  If I can take a quiet walk, that will help clear my head about priorities.


My plan of action doesn't seem like much, but it's a foundation.  It's so easy for me to just roll out of bed and get into auto-mommy mode and not even think about the day ahead or to let the day go by without focus nor quiet time.


What do you do to get your vision back?

5K Pioneer Style

I don't remember having such fun school field trips when I was a kid in Phoenix, AZ.  Today I helped chaparone a 20-handcart trek for my daughter's 4th grade field trip -- it was literally a trip through a field.


Each handcart had a "pioneer family" of about 8 people.  We took the handcarts from her school, through the neighborhood and turned into a field and then crossed a creek (mud and all) into a wetland reserve that I never would have known was there from driving by.  There we had a chuck-wagon lunch and learned different skills at several stations.


What's a Handcart?
During the 1800's, memebers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka "Mormons") were driven from their homes in Nauvoo, Illinois.  Some had covered wagons and horses, but supplies and money dwindled, and many resorted to handcarts.


Here in Utah, especially Utah County, having pioneer ancesestors is common, even if one isn't an active LDS member.  Students are taught to appreciate the pioneers, Utah history and its settlement.


I had a great time, and was super hot and tired when finished.  I'm treating a headache now -- so worth it.  I'm thankful for a cool home to go to and clean water from the faucet. 

I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Beginning our trek from the school and through
the neighborhood.

"Fun" hills.

Going down and down and down.
The kids had to do all the work.
The front steers.  Those holding the back of the
cart keep it from going too fast.  Those with the
ropes are the "brakes."
Teamwork.  Trust.

Muddy creek.

Marie and me.
(That dress is so comfortable and forgiving.)

Marie catching a bug.

Row of 20 handcarts.

Stew by the stream.
(And cornbread with honey butter and the best
apple I've ever had).

I get to call this part of my home.

Marie and me.

My girl.

Trekkin' On

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately nor visited your blogs.  Anybody else feeling the end-of-the-school-year crunch?  Reports are due.  Costumes need to be made.  Field trips attended.  It's all good but just busy.  I'll be going with my daughter on her 4th grade field trip:  a pioneer handcart trek this Friday to aid in Utah history studies.  I'm getting our "pioneer" clothing and supplies ready.

Then we'll be getting up the next morning at 5:30 to get ready for her Irish dance competition that day.

Next in line is making a sea-creature type costume for her 4th grade "opera" which she is dreading.  "It's so embarrassing," she says.  She's looking forward to making the costume, though.

I'm feeling bloated and bleh.  Last week I was roaming for chocolate.  I stopped paused myself and wondered why I wasn't listening to my stop signals.  I checked my calendar and sure enough, I was two days away from "lady time" (as a blogging friend calls it), and the urge to overeat was strong.  I became extra busy and didn't plan very well and my choices were not good.  My body has been complaining about it, too.

How was your Mother's Day?  I have a funny story.  Last Sunday, my youngest needed my help cleaning him after his BM.  So there I am, toilet paper in hand and helping him when he sweetly and sincerely said, "Happy Mother's day, Mommy."

"Food" -- Poor Puppy Dog (Quickie Humor)

source

I noticed the original link was broken.  I have since updated The Ultimate Dog Tease link.

This reminds me of me during a restrictive, deprivation diet!  

Click HERE.
(About 1 minute length).

Decoffeenated

photographyblogger.net

Oh, the aroma! Sweet heaven. I love the smell of coffee. It brings back great childhood memories of waking up every day to the familiar and comforting scent of my father's coffee.

When Danny and I were first married in '95, we used to enjoy our morning coffee together. We had our own bean grinder and would explore different flavors. At night, we enjoyed our beer and brandy. We fell in love over Malibu rum and Bob Marley. In the morning, we'd start another day with some java.

This went on until 1999 when we both decided to stop addictive substances, particularly alcohol and coffee.

Source

We were fortunate enough to be able to give up those items without too much trouble. We were abstinent for many, many years.

But, I became a coffee-drinker, again. It didn’t happen overnight. It began with caffeine tablets once per month to help me through PMS. Then it became ½ tsp instant coffee once per month. The coffee use joe-balled to more and more – stronger doses, more days per month, more times per day. I would stay up later, telling myself I’d make up for it with a cup of coffee in the morning. The longer my to-do lists became, the more I would drink. I had many excuses to justify my use.

Source

I wasn’t getting the same effect as I once did. It used to make me happier, brighten my day, reduce my anxiety, ward off depression, and give me enough energy for the demands of motherhood. Towards the end, I was more tired with uneven moods. I felt I had to have it and was dependent on it. It certainly didn’t help control my appetite; if anything, it stimulated it.

Source

I’ve been studying intuitive eating and exercising the past several months. Those things emphasize listening to the body. It dawned on me that I was not listening to my body’s cues and was instead trying to manipulate them with coffee. 

Source

About that time, I became ill. I thought this was a perfect time to completely detox from caffeine. I felt horrible anyway, what were a few more caffeine headaches/migraines?

That was a few weeks ago, and I see and feel a huge difference now that I vowed to not drink coffee anymore. I wake easily in the morning. I fall asleep faster at night. I do get tired in the afternoon, but instead of ignoring my body’s signal for rest, I honor it and sit or lie down for 5-10 minutes with my eyes closed. I’m not groggy afterwards. To perk up (and if I have time), I take a 10-20 minute walk. Sometimes dancing around the kitchen is a good substitute. And, without the stimulating caffeine, I can also listen to my body’s true hunger cues. My next goal is to simplify my life so I don’t have a marathon of activities tempting me to bring on the brew, again.

I still love the smell and have a coffee-scented candle. Gotta say, though, it feels good to be decoffeenated.

Source

Has anyone else given up coffee (or sodas)?