A "Dear John" Letter

Dear Sugar,

We've been together a long time, but I find that I need to stop seeing you for a while.

It's not you; it's me.

You are very refined, but I need to be more down to earth.  I want to be with someone more rooted and natural.

Actually, it is you.

I know this is hard to hear, but I just feel bad after being with you.  Sure, you can be sweet and all, but I'm left drained, like I have no energy to go on.  I get sad and moody, too.  I know, I know, you're there to make me happy, again, but it's not real happiness.  Besides, look at this extra 80 pounds I gained from trying to be happy with you!  Frankly, you're just not good for my heart.

It's going to be awkward at first when we run into each other, which is inevitable because you are EVERYWHERE that I have to be.  You are the life of the party and everybody loves you.  But, I have to ignore you.  I hope you understand.

Yes, I've met someone else, actually, many others.  They bring me sustained joy and lift me up, not leave me down like you do.(I don't know why I didn't give them the time-of-day before.  Once I got to know them, I've discovered how wonderful they are... and beautiful.  It's taken me a while to appreciate their beauty).  If you want to meet them, that's fine, but remember, my attention is to them.  It's not all about you anymore.

So, please, don't call me nor tempt me.  And, don't send your sister, White Flour, over, either.  You're both kind of empty, and I just don't need that anymore.

Sincerely,

Gina

Snack Attack Report

I began the Snack Attack Experiment a few days ago, and the experiment may be squelched before it has a chance to show its merits (should it have any, that is).  DH is having misgivings.


At first he thought it was a good idea and was for it.  Now, he wonders, "How will we know it's not working?  When will we know?  And, will there be irreparable damage if the experiment produces kids hooked on junk and fat?"  This experiment goes against all ingrained common sense, and he doesn't want to experiment on his kids.


Fair enough.  I get it.  I'm discouraged at the same time because I did have some hope.  Here's some data from the past few days:


My 5 y.o.:
5/8 of his granola bars remain
Almost all of his MMs remain
Dorito bag is almost full (and he sweetly shares a few with his brother and friend)
He hardly goes to the stash -- maybe he forgets it's there -- and asks for milk, fig bars, or a nectarine, instead.


My 10 y.o.:
6/8 of her granola bars remain (I pack them into her lunch box)
1/4 of her MMs remain (she likes those)
Dorito bag is UNopened -- she said she's not in the mood for them.
She asks me for oranges and grapefruit.


My 11 y.o.:
0/8 granola bars remain (GONE after day 2)
2 measly MMs remain after day 2 (started with 7 oz)
1/4 bag of Doritos remain


Yes, I'm concerned about my 11 y.o.  Is he "over-eating," or is he a growing boy with an insatiable appetite that ideally should be filled with power/real food but isn't always?


I expect this experiment to have a period of adjustment where the play treats are a novelty for a week or two and then lose their savor.  I think it's too soon to stop it.  I'll see if I can talk DH into giving it a month.


Do you know what I wish?  I wish this was an ideal world where bottomless pits of trash food didn't exist.  I wish only wholesome goods were provided at grocery stores, church functions, potlucks, and parties.  No such luck.  Instead, I have to help my kids deal with the real world where unreal foods are abundant.  I want them to learn that the play food is no big deal and nothing to go crazy about, and that real foods are so much better.  I don't want them to be ashamed for snacking on play food (hiding in a closet and thinking, "Oh, I shouldn't be eating this.  This is so bad.  I'm bad.  I can't stop.I better eat this until it's gone.")


Another reason I want to give it month is to also see how I do with the experiment (but, yeah, I shouldn't do it at the kids' expense).  My bag of MMs are still there as well as an unopened bag of Doritos, and I have no desired to sneak into their stash.  So far, so good.  I wonder if that will change with hormonal fluctuations, lack of sleep, etc.

This Sugar Is Healthy For You and Makes You Wanna Dance

Bring on the nostalgia!

Do you remember The Archies? The song popped into my head today (all this talk about sugar). I looked it up on YouTube and was so happy it was there. I've never seen "them"...is it one guy? Anyway, I had the 45 when I was a little girl and would play it over and over and over just dancing around in my room. (sigh:)

{A 45 is a small record, usually a single from the bigger LP record (we used to listen to music on them before tapes). Tapes are what we had before cd's. (oh, I feel old).}

Gina aka Cookie Monster

'Tis the season to be fat and jolly, fa la la la belch la la la la

I went to a Christmas party tonight tired and had no plan of action in my pocket and no focus on goals. (Huh? what goals... what are goals?) The only thing I could focus on were the homemade frosted sugar cookies...thousands of them. Okay, not thousands unless I say "thousands of calories of them." Oh, and let's not forget the chocolate-dipped pretzel sticks. My first bite into it I thought, "Now why would I want to give this up? It's sooo good!"

I was like Oz's scarecrow...no brain.

"Must......have.....more....." (Cookies! ngum ngum ngum)

Fa la la la ptht! la la la la :-p

The Big, Sweet Challenge

{Ah...a quiet home. Husband is at an elders' quorum meeting. Kids are at a fall-festival party at church. I almost don't know which direction to go. Do I watch the tv...I rarely get the chance? Do I find something on my to-do list? Take a warm bath? Call my parents? I'm often frustrated that I can't finish a thought enough to write in a journal...or blog...or to plan something out. So, I better use the time for that.}

Okay...so...think of something. No pressure. Time's just a-tickin' away. ......wow, I can actually hear the clock ticking...and the dog breathing. ....Hmmm. Where's the stifled buds of creativity just waiting to bloom?

Well...I started this blog to help me focus on becoming healthy....by 41...maybe 42 ;-P

Anyway, I will be 41 in January. I've become quite depressed about my eating habits and lack of physical exercise. I had 3 grandparents with diabetes and heart disease. I don't want to be on that boat.

When I was younger, I used to see obese people and think, "They must want to be that way, otherwise, why don't they just start eating better?" and "Don't they see they're getting bigger?" Now, my heart goes out to them, and I wonder if I'm on the same path. I've lost weight. Gained it, plus more. Lost weight. Gained it, plus more. Etc. AND...maybe it's just my imagination...but sugar seems to have a tighter grip on me each go-around. Cravings seem stronger. Ability to say no is weaker.

Is sugar addicting? Alcohol is addicting. Nicotine. Narcotics. How can I even put sugar in the same category as those other life-altering chemicals?

Maybe sugar over-consumption is just a really, really bad habit. Some people can have it in moderation...they know when to stop. It's all or nothing for me. I stop when it's gone or I'm about to throw up. I can't just have a taste.

I have to change the bad habit. Once and for all. I'm scared. If I fail again, what's going to happen to me?

My husband used to tell me I choose food over him (he wanted me fitter and healthier).  He has since learned that getting on my case about my eating habits and physical size doesn't help one bit. I gotta get there on my own. He brought up a good point, though: if I was destroying myself with alcohol, cigarettes, narcotics, etc., should he stay quiet and not plead with me to change?

I can't help but feel that overcoming this food "addiction" is going to be one of the biggest challenges of my life.

I'm not ready to go whole-hog, yet. ("whole-hog?" when have I ever used that expression?)

I'm starting slow. Build one or two good habits at a time. Now, it's drinking more water during the day and stop eating after 7:30 p.m. Maybe I'll start taking vitamin supplements soon.

I need to start taking care of my spiritual health, too. That cup is empty.