Birthday Pics

Count-down is complete; I've just celebrated my 42nd birthday.  It was wonderful, and I am so thankful for a loving family to share it with.  The blessings in my life are rich -- not monetarily, but being surrounded by people who love me.  (And I just realized I didn't have b-day pics taken with my parents!  But, I am so happy they've been able to move near us).  Everyone made sure I had a pleasant day.


When I began this blog, I was at the end of 39.  I had made it a goal of mine to get fit mentally, spiritually, and physically within a year.  I added a counter at the top of my blog.  So, am I fit?  No, but there are improvements.


When I was at the end of 41, I was also just at the end.  I was empty.  Not only was my body out of shape, but I was also mentally drained, and my spirit barely flickered.  Everything just seemed to be a struggle.


Someone may see I'm still overweight and judge, "Aw, she failed."


It's true I'm not the "image" of fitness, although it is better than a year ago, but, I'm not the same person I was a year ago, either.  You can't measure mental-fat-percentage or spiritual-fat-percentage.  If you could, you'd see those are leaner.


I used to binge when I didn't know how to deal with anxiety, etc.  I was mentally and spiritually depleted and too numb from the binges.  I don't have those binge episodes anymore.  Now I'm working on portion sizes and developing habits to listen to my body's stop signals.


I used to never plan meals.  That's still a hard one for me, but I do a lot more planning than I used to.  That brought me to my new blog "What Am I Supposed To Do With That?" where I've been teaching myself new vegetable recipes that my whole family likes (picky 5 year olds don't always count).


And I have so much gratitude.

Danny and Me

With Thomas, 11

With Marie, 9

With Skye, 5

C25K Report - Week 5 and Gratitude

Yes, the C25K is back on. It's a nine-week program, and I just finished week 5. It's becoming easier to wake at 6 a.m. There's less traffic, less car fumes. And I love how the snow on the snow-capped mountains seem to float like spirits against the dark sky. Their positions settle and their majestic presence loom as dawn breaks.

It's cold, and I feel alive. And I feel grateful. Running outside along our one-mile loop brings me out of myself, out of my problems:

I run by *Bro. W's home (I wonder if they've filed bankruptcy).

I run by Sis. H's home (Yay! She finally found a job. I need to remind Danny to help her and her 4 little ones move on Saturday).

I run by Sis. B's home (Oh, that's right, she's sick. Darn, I haven't called her, yet).

I run by Sis. G's home (I want to go see her next week. She's so amazing and faithful. How would I handle the death of a child?).

I run by the empty lot on our hill, and the view takes my breath away.

I run by the R's (I remember the terrific talk their teenage son gave in church).

I run by Sis. O's (How does she remain so patient and easy-going? Remember to thank her).

I run by the other W's (I wonder how Sis. W is feeling about her new calling as Relief Society President. She'll be wonderful).

I run by adorable homes that just aren't selling.

I run by the H's (How do they do it for being out of work so long?).

Next door are the other H's (I hope he's feeling better. Sis. H must be so worried).

I run by our beloved chapel (Comforting).

I run by the B's (How did Bro. B survive that accident?).

And now I'm at Bro. W's home, again. Their kitchen light is on.

And I am grateful.

*{Most of my neighbors and I are members of the same religion. We call each other Brother and Sister during church (we use first names in casual settings - except to the Bishop). Minors address us as Bro. or Sis. So-n-so all the time as a sign of respect. It brings us closer and reminds us we're in this together and to be there for each other}.

For Mature Audiences Only

Ah, you clicked on my post. See, I may not have clicked because I question my maturity. I'm aging, but I'm not sure how mature I am.

Do you have an "inner brat?" I remember in the 1980's, "inner child" was a popular topic. Then a couple of years ago, I heard Merilu Henner speak of the "inner brat." My inner brat wants all the cookies. My inner brat doesn't want to brush her hair or go to the doctor's or stop blogging long enough to take care of other responsibilities. My inner brat says, "I don't wanna," when I tell her to get up early and do her c25k.

I was reading an article the other day about growing up, not just growing older. It's written for young, single adults, but it could apply to anyone who wants to grow in this area. I'm writing the list the article has. The blue areas are the points that I really need to work on.

Markers of Adulthood

1. Acquiring an Adult Sense of Mission

2. Establishing Personal Goals and Routines - learning to prioritize, find balance, and work hard toward a goal...discipline

"Goals and routines help people prevent depression and temptation and navigate between the opposing quicksands of boredom and excessive stress."

3. Managing Physical Self-Care - cooking for a crowd, deciding if a medical problem is serious, or dress for an interview...we grow in confidence and skill as we step up to the task of learning these things for ourselves.

"Arranging for our own dental and medical care, haircuts, nutritious meals, exercise, and consistent and adequate sleep can be positive ways to truly claim the gift of the body."

4. Increasing Financial Independence - budget and save

5. Creating a home - reflecting your tastes, lifestyle and personality...even if it is a small space

6. Shifting Our Sense of Family - initiating and responding to opportunities to make friends rather than just waiting for others to come to you.

7. Learning Skills of Emotional Connection - initiating friendliness, responding to others' invitations, and enjoying people of different ages...learning to make conversation

8. Building a Community - volunteering, taking someone to dinner, buying Christmas gifts for others, throwing a party for someone, inviting others over, church involvement, voting

9. Supporting the Next Generation

"A sign of maturity among adults is shifing from being taken care of to being the ones who take care of others."

10. Growing in Spiritual Responsibility ** - obedience to God, willingness to sacrifice for His Kingdom, and the importance of organizing our lives to prioritize prayer, scripture study, and being active in church.

11. Building the Kingdom **

"We can grow up in the Lord as we organize our lives according to His laws and and constantly seek His Spirit to guide and comfort us."

**To those who don't believe in God, when I was an atheist and was asked who my higher-power was, I'd say it was Nature. The terms "Nature" and "Love" can usually be substituted easily to still get meaning out of religious passages and give a sense of our obligation to Earth and fellow beings.

For instance, #10 changes to obedience to Nature, willingness to sacrifice for Nature, organizing lives for meditation and reflecting on Love.

And #11 changes to growing up in Love as we organize our lives according to Nature and constantly seek Love (the good, healthy kind) to guide and comfort us.

Image credit: media.photobucket.com

Click here if you want the full article: "That They May Grow Up In Thee"

So, how do you deal with your inner brat?

Lessons I Learned Today and a Favorite Hymn

Image credit: villageofelmore.com

In keeping with my spiritual fitness journey as well as physical, I'd like to remember little things I learned today in church. This I can apply to my physical journey as well.

This comes from M.R., a 15 or 16 year old boy, our youth speaker for today: We come to forks in the road. There's the right path to take, but it looks rough. Then there's the other path, it looks easy. Sometimes we take the easy way only to discover life becomes much rougher down the road because of our choice. If we choose the right path, even though it looks initially rougher, we can avoid self-made troubles down the road.

-Applying this to physical health, I've been taking the easy way for years: easy "convenient" food, sedentary lifestyle, emotional eating (and emotional drinking before joining the church). The "easy" road has lead to problems...self-inflicted problems. The right way would have been the "rougher" active lifestyle, taking the time to cook healthier, not indulging in bad habits, feeling emotions instead of medicating them. I could then be free to do other things.

The other message is from H.W., our new Relief Society President: When she doesn't feel like praying for whatever reason, she's learned that is the most important time to pray.

The following is one of my favorite hymns. We chose it for our baptism, and Skye asks me to sing it to him each night for bed: Love at Home On the upper left corner select "Words and Music" then play.

May there be love in your home today, and remember to love yourself.

I Asked, I Received...Oh, Boy Did I Receive!

I've been praying for a changed heart and the desire to set time aside each day for scripture study. I now have my motivation: I was called and sustained as a Sunday school teacher for the 14 and 15 year olds. Now others are counting on me to do my scripture study. This year we are learning the Old Testament.

{In the LDS religion, members are called to do a certain job, in my case, as a teacher. No one gets paid. Even our Bishop and his counselors are volunteers, called into their positions. They may work a full-time week at their employment and put in as many hours for church service.}

I'm nervous. I have to stand up in front of others. I like going to church, but I dread getting ready for church. I dread finding clothes that fit. I dread the mirror. Hate the mirror. It reminds me of what I've done to myself. Now, I'll be standing in front of others trying to teach them, pretending I have confidence. Just smile ... everyone looks better when they smile, even the toothless. (At least they look friendlier with a smile).

This is out of my comfort zone. That's good. Growth comes from trying new things. This may be just what I need (the calling, not the spider).

Image: travelblog.org

No, this isn't me. I identify with her expression, though.

Baptismal Anniversary & Hand for Haiti (End)

Image: barbarah.wordpress.com

Skye, 4, happy to have his own scriptures.

Spiritual fitness is also part of my journey. Everyone expresses their spiritual journey through different means like various religions, no religion, nature, etc. Some ignore their spiritual self (or whatever you want to call that energy inside of you) and cover it with addictions and distractions.

January 17th is an anniversary of sorts. Eleven years ago my husband and I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. {That's a mouthful. We say "LDS for short". We also say "Mormons," but there are a few different branches of Mormons. I converted to the LDS branch}.

I used to be an atheist. If I had to choose a higher power then, it would have been nature. I despised organized religion, Mormons being on top of that list. My idea of what Mormonism was about was very mistaken. If you would have told me 11 years ago I would be a Mormon living in Utah, I would have wondered what you were drinking. And then I'd ask you to pass it on over.

I enjoy being a member, although it hasn't always been easy (it's a culture...a good culture...but busy). I began having children soon after we joined (they were in the works whether we joined or not). I was so overwhelmed with motherhood and several moves that I never applied the wise spiritual habits being taught like scripture study and prayer. To this day I still feel like a greenie.

If I had made scripture study and prayer a habit and relied on Heavenly Father's grace and love and spirit during the rough times, I wonder ...I dunno ...I just wonder if I'd be more grown up by now. I also wonder if I'd be thinner. Not sure because sugar is the last Mormon vice. I'll save that for another entry.

I may write more about my LDS experiences and relate it also to my physical fitness journey. When I speak of it, please know I respect others' beliefs. Whatever brings you closer to your higher power and gives you strength is what is best for you now. My belief in Jesus Christ is what is right for me. What scripture reading and prayer is for me may be what meditation, etc., is to another.

Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20

Lauren from Celiac Teen asks for recipe contributions for her project "Hand for Haiti."