Sunday, July 3, 2011

June Gone So Soon

This is NOT my summer so far.

June has kicked me in the butt.  I have absolutely nothing to complain about -- it's been great, actually -- but just so busy.  It's like every moment is spoken for.  No lazy days of summer here.

But now, I have an empty house (even the dog has gone to Grandma's), so I thought I'd check in.

I've maintained my weight, which pretty much means I'm still fat.  I've really been lacking the meal-planning department and have not been cooking much.  The amount of restaurant and fast food we've consumed astounds even me (not to mention the cost).  Ugh.  I feel hypocritical because my beliefs have been "I shouldn't be too busy to eat right."  Then, when demands on my time increase, I'm in the frame of mind, "Okay, I'm needed here.  Let me get this done then it's back on the straight and narrow."  Or "There's only so much I can do in a day, you want me to cook, too?"

{grrr, empty house not empty anymore  -- sigh}

I have been walking, though, which is a God-send.  It has really perked up my energy and mood, AND I've been staying off the caffeine, which helps me sleep better at night.  High activity -  good; not caring what I eat - bad.

So, what happened with the Eating for Your Soul program?  I still believe in most of it, but I have not been applying myself or given much thought to intuitive eating.  It's a program that teaches about having a good relationship with food and your body, but it's not a weight-loss program.  When I told the leader, Jarah, at the last meeting I've really enjoyed the program and felt I learned and applied a lot BUT that I have to lose the weight -- it's not an option, my body and especially my feet hurt -- and how do I go about it, she pretty much said that when I work the program, I'll eventually start eating less and less.  She added I won't lose the weight until I stop thinking about losing the weight.

That was so discouraging.  Maybe she's right, but she hasn't lived it.  How does she know? Food (overeating/binges/obesity) has not been an issue for her.  That's irrelevant, I suppose, because I'm the one that has to take the time to focus on what I'm putting in my mouth and why.  Like any program, I have to do my part.  In all honesty, I haven't (except for the exercise).

Jarah recommended one-on-one work, and I agreed, but I haven't heard from her since.  I also wanted to purchase two more workbooks (one for my mom and I to work on together and one for a friend).  I was supposed to get those over a month ago, but I haven't even received a phone call nor an email.

...not sure why...  maybe her summer has been as busy as mine... 

I hope you have a great Independence Day