Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm In Shape: Round Shape

I know, I know, I haven't been around lately, but I have been round. Actually, I'm becoming rounder by the day.

I've been numb. It's mostly self-inflicted numbness. The compulsive eating and binging...well, let's just say it's still there. Focus has been challenging.

And the disappointment in myself? Vast.

Several weeks ago while I was active with the C25K program, I saw an ad for a "Running With Angels" 5K to be held in June. I was excited. I even envisioned training with my mother-in-law when she and my FIL came to visit from France the end of May, kind of a bonding experience. Surely I'd be more fit and tone by then. What I'm leaving out is I saw that flyer in a Great Harvest bakery and read it while
stuffing my face sampling their wholesome goodness. The stuffing sampling just hasn't stopped. The running did. I never signed up. I've gained around ten pounds. My fit-n-trim, perfectly dressed and coiffed in-laws arrived a few days ago, and I can barely button my pants.

I'm a big disappointment, to say the least.

I have felt too guilty to spend time blogging. My attention has been needed elsewhere, and if I even looked at the computer to contemplate logging on, the guilt-factor would stop me. (Why can't that work with junk food?)

Have I given up? No, although it does kinda look like it, and there certainly hasn't been any commitment on my part. I have to work on getting some feeling back and build focus-endurance.

I've started walking again the past few days. Right now, it's not even about the weight. Walking eases my anxiety and depression and does help with some of my ability to focus and remember.

I think writing also exercises my brain. Maybe I can figure out a way to set aside some blog-time for myself. Until then, see ya 'round.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's-Heart Day

This goes to each of you women out there that have taken a moment to give words of encouragement to me or others. You have a mother's heart.

This is to you that take the time to explain things on your blog so others may benefit. You have a mother's heart.

This is to you that upload video recordings and photos of recipes and exercise techniques for us visual learners. You have a mother's heart.

You don't get paid. You may not even get a thank you. Yet, you do it anyway.

I know you aren't my mom. I may even be old enough to be your mom.

Maybe you haven't given birth. (And if that is an unfulfilled dream, I am sorry for your heartache).

You don't have to be a biological mom to have a mother's heart. This day is for you, too.

Your nurturing spirit feeds us all.

Thank you.