Thursday, May 19, 2011

Blurry and Out of Focus

It's 4 in the morning and my head is spinning with my to-do lists.  Items continue to be added to it, and the line between what is important and what is urgent is blurred.  Everything is good, but it's so easy to slip back into old, familiar eating and nonexercise patterns when there is a lot demanded from me.

I noticed lately that I'm not taking the time to truly taste my food nor eat slowly.  I'm busting over my stop signals and eating things that I don't even like much.


I am by habit a "chaotic eater"* as defined by Jarah Christensen's  Eating For Your Soul.  When I multi-task and am being pulled in many directions, I don't take the time to feed myself.  Then I become famished and make poor food choices and overeat or binge on those poor choices.  Starve - binge - starve - binge.  When I'm in this chaotic mode, I hate dealing with food (especially when I'm the only one that cooks).  I don't hate cooking, but there's only so much of me and my time, and I don't want to deal with it.

So, yes, I'm slipping back into that way of  eating.  "Chaos is not conducive to listening to my body."  No kidding.

I've also traditionally been an "emotional eater."  I don't think I've slipped back into this.  If I have, then not by much.  But, I don't emotionally binge the way I used to:  buying packages/trays/bakery boxes of pastry-type stuff and digging in, sometimes crying, sometimes numbly staring off into space.

*{Other types of eaters are:  Control Eaters, Professional Dieter, Waste-Not Eater, Offend-Not Eater, Emotional Eater, and Closet Eater}.

So, what am I going to do about this?  I can't be cloned.  The list isn't going away.

I am important; my well-being is good for everybody and the list.

Be still, then move
First, renew my focus.  I will take quiet time for myself -- no kids, no computer, no list  -- and meditate/ponder/pray about what I want to do for my body that day.  I'll write it down, say it out loud, come up with a mantra - something - to reinforce listening to my body.

Second, move.  I will take at least a 5 minute walk or turn on music and dance.  This is separate from regular exercise.  This is just to pump up some energy and my mood.  If I can take a quiet walk, that will help clear my head about priorities.

My plan of action doesn't seem like much, but it's a foundation.  It's so easy for me to just roll out of bed and get into auto-mommy mode and not even think about the day ahead or to let the day go by without focus nor quiet time.

What do you do to get your vision back?

Friday, May 13, 2011

5K Pioneer Style

I don't remember having such fun school field trips when I was a kid in Phoenix, AZ.  Today I helped chaparone a 20-handcart trek for my daughter's 4th grade field trip -- it was literally a trip through a field.

Each handcart had a "pioneer family" of about 8 people.  We took the handcarts from her school, through the neighborhood and turned into a field and then crossed a creek (mud and all) into a wetland reserve that I never would have known was there from driving by.  There we had a chuck-wagon lunch and learned different skills at several stations.

What's a Handcart?
During the 1800's, memebers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka "Mormons") were driven from their homes in Nauvoo, Illinois.  Some had covered wagons and horses, but supplies and money dwindled, and many resorted to handcarts.

Here in Utah, especially Utah County, having pioneer ancesestors is common, even if one isn't an active LDS member.  Students are taught to appreciate the pioneers, Utah history and its settlement.

I had a great time, and was super hot and tired when finished.  I'm treating a headache now -- so worth it.  I'm thankful for a cool home to go to and clean water from the faucet. 

I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Beginning our trek from the school and through
the neighborhood.

"Fun" hills.
Going down and down and down.
The kids had to do all the work.
The front steers.  Those holding the back of the
cart keep it from going too fast.  Those with the
ropes are the "brakes."
Teamwork.  Trust.

Muddy creek.
Marie and me.
(That dress is so comfortable and forgiving.)

Marie catching a bug.

Row of 20 handcarts.

Stew by the stream.
(And cornbread with honey butter and the best
apple I've ever had).

I get to call this part of my home.
Marie and me.

My girl.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Trekkin' On

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately nor visited your blogs.  Anybody else feeling the end-of-the-school-year crunch?  Reports are due.  Costumes need to be made.  Field trips attended.  It's all good but just busy.  I'll be going with my daughter on her 4th grade field trip:  a pioneer handcart trek this Friday to aid in Utah history studies.  I'm getting our "pioneer" clothing and supplies ready.

Then we'll be getting up the next morning at 5:30 to get ready for her Irish dance competition that day.
Next in line is making a sea-creature type costume for her 4th grade "opera" which she is dreading.  "It's so embarrassing," she says.  She's looking forward to making the costume, though.

I'm feeling bloated and bleh.  Last week I was roaming for chocolate.  I stopped paused myself and wondered why I wasn't listening to my stop signals.  I checked my calendar and sure enough, I was two days away from "lady time" (as a blogging friend calls it), and the urge to overeat was strong.  I became extra busy and didn't plan very well and my choices were not good.  My body has been complaining about it, too.

How was your Mother's Day?  I have a funny story.  Last Sunday, my youngest needed my help cleaning him after his BM.  So there I am, toilet paper in hand and helping him when he sweetly and sincerely said, "Happy Mother's day, Mommy."