Thursday, May 19, 2011

Blurry and Out of Focus

It's 4 in the morning and my head is spinning with my to-do lists.  Items continue to be added to it, and the line between what is important and what is urgent is blurred.  Everything is good, but it's so easy to slip back into old, familiar eating and nonexercise patterns when there is a lot demanded from me.

I noticed lately that I'm not taking the time to truly taste my food nor eat slowly.  I'm busting over my stop signals and eating things that I don't even like much.


I am by habit a "chaotic eater"* as defined by Jarah Christensen's  Eating For Your Soul.  When I multi-task and am being pulled in many directions, I don't take the time to feed myself.  Then I become famished and make poor food choices and overeat or binge on those poor choices.  Starve - binge - starve - binge.  When I'm in this chaotic mode, I hate dealing with food (especially when I'm the only one that cooks).  I don't hate cooking, but there's only so much of me and my time, and I don't want to deal with it.

So, yes, I'm slipping back into that way of  eating.  "Chaos is not conducive to listening to my body."  No kidding.

I've also traditionally been an "emotional eater."  I don't think I've slipped back into this.  If I have, then not by much.  But, I don't emotionally binge the way I used to:  buying packages/trays/bakery boxes of pastry-type stuff and digging in, sometimes crying, sometimes numbly staring off into space.

*{Other types of eaters are:  Control Eaters, Professional Dieter, Waste-Not Eater, Offend-Not Eater, Emotional Eater, and Closet Eater}.

So, what am I going to do about this?  I can't be cloned.  The list isn't going away.

I am important; my well-being is good for everybody and the list.

Be still, then move
First, renew my focus.  I will take quiet time for myself -- no kids, no computer, no list  -- and meditate/ponder/pray about what I want to do for my body that day.  I'll write it down, say it out loud, come up with a mantra - something - to reinforce listening to my body.

Second, move.  I will take at least a 5 minute walk or turn on music and dance.  This is separate from regular exercise.  This is just to pump up some energy and my mood.  If I can take a quiet walk, that will help clear my head about priorities.

My plan of action doesn't seem like much, but it's a foundation.  It's so easy for me to just roll out of bed and get into auto-mommy mode and not even think about the day ahead or to let the day go by without focus nor quiet time.

What do you do to get your vision back?


  1. It's great that you can recognize when you need to reel in some habits. Your plan of action sounds solid to me.

  2. I think you've got it. Taking a moment to be still or clear your head so that you can regain focus is a really great step in the right direction. (I love when I write an 'action plan' for the day and the first thing on it is "Be still.")

  3. Hi Gina! (I emailed you a little bit ago!)

    One thing that helps me is to first just sit still and get a grip. The second thing is to make a plan or a list and JUST DO THE NEXT THING. I have to tell myself that so I don't try to do 5 different things at once.

    I think your plan of action is a very good one. Simple is always better, in my opinion. :)

  4. Just really evaluate where you are and where you would like to be. When I lost motivation, thinking about what would happen if I quit often got me going again. You are definietly on the right track!

  5. Consistent habits sustain me. That's it. I just do it and keep doing it. It has worked for a long time, through challenges and difficulties and good times.

  6. I just keep thinking about how far I have come. This is actually not that far with weight loss, but, leap years ahead of where I was mentally even one year ago. It is hard, Gina, but you can do it. I like your plan to refocus yourself and still your inner wheels. Have a great weekend!

  7. I'm with Dr. J. You have to force yourself even when you don't want to.

  8. Thanks for sharing what works for all of you. I haven't lost my motivation -- not at all -- and somehow that came across.

    I had lost my focus on what is urgent and what is important. It's all good, but what is best? Taking care of myself is best, and that is what I was posting about.

    I have a Go! Go! Go! lifestyle and am pulled in many directions. I also have a pilot husband who may or may-not be here, comes home late, leaves early in the morning. Sometimes I'm a single parent, sometimes I have his help. It's challenging to plan around. It's challenging to get enough sleep to think clearly. And I'm doing this all without coffee.

    Thus, the whole "be still, then move" for regrouping goals and strategies.

  9. I tell myself it's okay not to do EVERYthing on the To Do list. I set my handy little timer for 15 minutes and tackle the first task on the list. Even if it doesn't get done in 15 minutes, sometimes that's all the time I can give to a task, and sometimes it does help.