First of all, thank you for the kind words and support.  You gals are the best.  I'm going to keep it real - the good, the bad, the positive, the sad.  Jill, you posted about fear a couple of days ago.  I keep thinking about that.  Why do I bury my feelings?  What am I afraid of?  Anyways, those questions are ricocheting in my brain with a whole other mess of "huh's?".


We are on Step 3 this week for Eating for Your Soul (there is a new group starting over that I've signed up with, again -- this time I am paying more attention, I'm a little more ready).  Ironically, part of this step deals with false fronts -- NO!  Not silicon implants!  Stop that! -- False fronts are ways we protect ourselves from being rejected by others.  It just made me think of my last post and pretending I'm "fine."  Interesting timing.


Also, Step 3 has some homework.  There are several things, but the part I'm dealing with now is  1)get rid of the scale, and 2)get rid of clothes that don't fit (too big and too small).


I packed away the scale several weeks ago.  (The last time I got rid of a scale was out of a second-floor window -- Crash!).


Tomorrow, I'll pack away the clothes.  I'm not ready to give them away, yet, but I will put them in a box in the garage.


The motivation for these steps is to keep peace with my body and not have constant reminders of my size not being what I want it to be.  (I can't wear that.  I can't wear that.  I can't wear that.).  Only having clothes that fit shows respect for my body.  It doesn't mean I've given up on having a healthier form.  Honestly, it's an experiment for me.  I'm hoping for patience and a better body image.  We'll see.