Friday, March 5, 2010

For Mature Audiences Only

Ah, you clicked on my post. See, I may not have clicked because I question my maturity. I'm aging, but I'm not sure how mature I am.

Do you have an "inner brat?" I remember in the 1980's, "inner child" was a popular topic. Then a couple of years ago, I heard Merilu Henner speak of the "inner brat." My inner brat wants all the cookies. My inner brat doesn't want to brush her hair or go to the doctor's or stop blogging long enough to take care of other responsibilities. My inner brat says, "I don't wanna," when I tell her to get up early and do her c25k.

I was reading an article the other day about growing up, not just growing older. It's written for young, single adults, but it could apply to anyone who wants to grow in this area. I'm writing the list the article has. The blue areas are the points that I really need to work on.

Markers of Adulthood
1. Acquiring an Adult Sense of Mission

2. Establishing Personal Goals and Routines - learning to prioritize, find balance, and work hard toward a goal...discipline
"Goals and routines help people prevent depression and temptation and navigate between the opposing quicksands of boredom and excessive stress."

3. Managing Physical Self-Care - cooking for a crowd, deciding if a medical problem is serious, or dress for an interview...we grow in confidence and skill as we step up to the task of learning these things for ourselves.
"Arranging for our own dental and medical care, haircuts, nutritious meals, exercise, and consistent and adequate sleep can be positive ways to truly claim the gift of the body."

4. Increasing Financial Independence - budget and save

5. Creating a home - reflecting your tastes, lifestyle and personality...even if it is a small space

6. Shifting Our Sense of Family - initiating and responding to opportunities to make friends rather than just waiting for others to come to you.

7. Learning Skills of Emotional Connection - initiating friendliness, responding to others' invitations, and enjoying people of different ages...learning to make conversation

8. Building a Community - volunteering, taking someone to dinner, buying Christmas gifts for others, throwing a party for someone, inviting others over, church involvement, voting

9. Supporting the Next Generation
"A sign of maturity among adults is shifing from being taken care of to being the ones who take care of others."

10. Growing in Spiritual Responsibility ** - obedience to God, willingness to sacrifice for His Kingdom, and the importance of organizing our lives to prioritize prayer, scripture study, and being active in church.

11. Building the Kingdom **
"We can grow up in the Lord as we organize our lives according to His laws and and constantly seek His Spirit to guide and comfort us."

**To those who don't believe in God, when I was an atheist and was asked who my higher-power was, I'd say it was Nature. The terms "Nature" and "Love" can usually be substituted easily to still get meaning out of religious passages and give a sense of our obligation to Earth and fellow beings.

For instance, #10 changes to obedience to Nature, willingness to sacrifice for Nature, organizing lives for meditation and reflecting on Love.

And #11 changes to growing up in Love as we organize our lives according to Nature and constantly seek Love (the good, healthy kind) to guide and comfort us.
Image credit:

So, how do you deal with your inner brat?


  1. Thanks for summing up that article. I generally skip over ones I think are intended for single adults, but this one was great!
    How do I deal with my inner brat? I talk to it. We have conversations like "Amy, why are you treating your husband that way? Don't you realize you are just moody? He's done nothing intentional to make you mad."
    Or, "Amy, what good would it do to skip your run this morning? You'll just be mad all day! YOu need the time alone.. go RUN!"

  2. Amy, you're such a nice mom. Can you be the mom to my inner brat?

  3. That sounds like a great article. How do I deal with my inner brat? I guess I make peace with it through prayer and forgiveness. Just yesterday I was so nasty to my kids but I've discussed my actions with the Lord and made my peace.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  4. These are some very good points and I feel like printing them to give to my kids as they age and enter the young single life. Or reminders for me of what to make sure to teach them...

    Anyway...I have an inner brat and I usually have to face her and make her admit she was wrong. argh... Sometimes she listens and she's always happier when she complies. Other times she doesn't listen and she pays the consequences for her actions. She's still growing in many areas and she's getting better. :)

    Thanks for the "mature" post. Only because I knew it was you did I click on it...some other sites and I would've been nervous of it being porn or something and skipped it altogether. LOL

    Have a nice weekend! We're having mid-high 60s here and LOVING IT! These are the days you always loved in PHX when the capris could come out and you knew it was snowing somewhere else, but not there.

    Okay...I've posted horrendously long..thanks for allowing it. :P

  5. Crap, I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!! :-) That is how I deal with it!

    Seriously, thx for this interesting article & points BUT I do think it is necessary to hold that inner child & have fun too... I think many times, I was just too much of an adult. Being a brat now & then might mean we are doing something for ourselves for a change!

  6. oh my inner brat...the one that still likes to play the car stereo all the way up, or the one who would rather surf the net all night and forget about the pile of dishes and laundry (that never get put away on their own)...I guess my daughter is the one who keeps my inner brat down to earth. She rudely reminds me I am not a young teenager anymore...I'm almost 40 and that's old to her...
    I loved this post today!! Now I must go do those dishes and laundry lol

  7. That's a great article - thank you for summing it up. I think that I still fight my inner brat when it comes to certain things.

    You can do this Gina!

  8. Oh my Gina, I'm SUCH a brat (or have an inner brat) it's not even funny.

    I'm still learning to deal with it effectively though. Love the tips and suggestions. Thank you! :)

  9. Gina,

    I like how number five is "creating a home," which is way different than having a house.

    One marker of adulthood I learned is being willing to compromise--whether in marriage, job, or health. But what I like about being married to you is that I don't feel I have to compromise.

    You and I can be immature together.


  10. Looks like I have a lot of growing up left to do. I didn't realize until I read this list ;). It has a lot of good pointers, I think I will print it and keep it somewhere as a reminder on things I need to work on. I like Marilu Henner btw, years ago I borrowed one of her books (Healthy kids I believe it was) at the library and it's what first got me started in making changes to the way our family eats etc.

  11. Hey, it's Amy at superhealthy kids! I miss you...must go see what you've been up to...

    Great post Gina. Lots to think about. I love #6. That's something I've struggled with just because I'm naturally introverted. (an extroverted introvert, but still.) I think this article can be summed up in the phrase, "take charge." You don't like something? Quit sitting and whining about it and do something to change it. Aaaaah, adulthood. sometimes it sucks to have to be in charge, lol...

  12. I love this. and Ive printed this. and I SOOO HAVE AN INNER BRAT as well.