TOFUmbled

About a year and a half ago, during a failed, radical attempt to eat healthier, I tried introducing tofu and soy products to my family. Only my daughter liked it and only when I fried the bijibbers out of it. I searched the web for many recipes, tried tofu burgers, hot dogs, and regular tofu in recipes. And then there's the Tofurkey.

This is what I found: I like tofu when it is itself and not pretending to be meat. It is good as bits and pieces in soups, and it rocks in Buddha's Delight. BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE MEAT. Do you know why I like hamburgers? Because... it tastes... like...(waitforit)... MEAT! The impostor just doesn't cut it. who does it think it is trying to be something it's not? I imagine wrapping an arm around its shoulder (yes, the tofu's shoulder...if it can be "meat," then it can have a hypothetical shoulder in my little story) and having a heart-to-heart talk with it.

I'd say something like, "Tofu, buddy, I gotta tell you, and it's for your own good: nobody likes a phony. Stop pretending to be something you're not. You are...(sigh)...let's face it...you're bean curd, and you always will be bean curd. Yeah, I know, that's harsh, but, HEY, cheer up, it's okay to be bean curd. Be proud! You've got A LOT going for you just as you are. You are full of protein and can absorb flavors! That's good! You just need to accept the fact that you'll never be a juicy piece of meat; it's just not in your genes."

Now...to take my own advice: embrace who I am, develop the talents given to me, smile, and just be myself.